


saying goodbye

by buttheyrebrothers



Series: Poetry [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 03x16, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Poetry, Season 3 Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 14:40:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4610571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttheyrebrothers/pseuds/buttheyrebrothers





	saying goodbye

They say that people are no islands and maybe that’s true.  
I’m not.  
I’m a grave. I’m the darkness that eats you alive, if you only come close enough.

This life we’re leading, it taught me some lessons. 

I’m not made for peace. Or happiness. Not for hope and ever afters. I’m not made for love.  
(but for you I’d try anyway)

(I’m made for hell fires)

I know you refuse to believe that. You still have dreams, and a soul not corrupted by the blood on your hands.

You see, mine is dark, clouded by black, the air smelling like violence, a thunderstorm.

But you… Oh Sammy. You are the sun, fighting its way through the despairing absence of light. You shine and shine and shine. Warmth on my skin, in my heart. Filing my very essence.

But it would be cruel and selfish to keep you tied to me. To a broken shell of a man, the dead vessel of a tree hit by lightning. It may look beautiful on the surface, but inside it’s already dead. Burned out and left to rot.  
(you should leave me to rot)

My stubborn little Sammy. You could never accept a truth you didn’t like. You’d fight me tooth and nails, never giving in, giving up. Like a precious flower in the deadliest desert, you preserve.

(Please never change)

When I think about the things I will miss most, it’s only you I see.  
(I sound like a girl, don’t I? Are you laughing at me? Well, you should.)

A dimpled smile. Girly hair I secretly love (we both always knew that, don’t we?). Gentle hands on my face, holding me like I’m something I’m not. Precious. Worthy. Deserving of your love.

I never deserved you. Yet I took everything you were willing to give. And I need to ask for one more thing.

(I’m sorry Sammy)

Let me go.  
Forget about me.  
(don’t forget about me)  
Find a girl and settle down.  
Be happy.

I wish for things to be different. I really do. I wish I could have given you a mum, a childhood, a home. _Safety_. All the things you crave.

I could only ever give you me.  
(you always had all of me)

I want you to know, that even if I could never tell you (another way I failed you), you are everything that’s good in this world. Everything worth living for is in your chest, beating to a rhythm I feel echoed in my own.

You are my impossible dream.

They’ll never take that from me.


End file.
